you're a mystery yourself

Sunday, May 29, 2005

10:25 PM

there's a stranger in my house
took awhile to figure out
there's no way u could be who u are
u gotta be someone else
coz she wouldnt touch me like dat
And she wouldnt treat me like u do
she would adore me, she wouldnt ignore me
And i'm convinced there's a stranger in my house.

Tell me where we first kissed
Tell me where my spot is
tell me if i like it, love it or could it be
dat e stranger is me
have i changed so drastically
is it i want more for me
yet u remain e same.

&the beauty.

2:41 PM

Dear fat fingers baby,

Thanks for being there when i need all those attention.
Thanks for puttin a smile on my face when i least expect it.
Thanks for keepin me occupied wif all your crappy msgs n stuff.
Thanks for makin me laugh. Always.
Thanks for being horny/flirty/talkative etc.

Cant wait to go on date wif u.

P.s: No need to try makin me fall for you. =P

Love, Chocolat.

&the beauty.

2:07 PM

There's so much friggin things on my mind and its hard for me to say everything out so i mite as well vent everything on here. i dun even know where to start.

I hate you for doing dat. I hate you for spyin on me. I know you couldnt help yourself but its an invasion of privacy and the worst thing of all was dat e person trust you wif her hp n
you exploited dat. And after dat you still could msg me tellin how hurt n jealous u were. At first you didnt even dare to tell me wads going on.

In e end, i knew. How could you?! How dare you?!
I feel like i dunno you anymore. You've changed a lot.
I jus lost all my respect for you.

You had me. You Lost me. You waste it.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I Dun think i'm ready for another r/s.
I hate all those commitment bullshit.
I dun need all those shitty stuff.
And i'm not gonna fall for anyone anymore.
coz its jus wastin my fuckin time.

&the beauty.

4:07 PM

oOooOo.
i'm bored.
Its thursday.
Nothing to do.
Everybody busy wif work, work, work.

Luckily i got darling Adlina to keep me accompany.
Even tho she full of herself, called me stupid names, make me laugh
n gave me challengin msgs.
Thankies darlz. N i'm here for u always.
Mummy gonna buy u fossil watch kay?
hehe.. dream on, girl.

&the beauty.

6:04 PM

today is a saturday n i'm damn bored.
Everyone seems to be away on hols.
Not everyone la.

Went out wif edd today. To sell my hp but wad da heck, no one wants to buy it. i know la its spoilt but still... hmph. i'm so the money minded.. been thinkin of buying lost of stuff..

Hello?? Are there any sugar daddy out there to sponsor me??!!

Wanted List:

Nokia 7610
iPod shuffle
Slipper
Bag
Definately a new wallet

In dat order please....

&the beauty.

4:53 PM

I saw wad nad wrote in her blog abt the three of us. N it touched me right deep into my heart. Well, i guessed its time for me to honour e biatches in my life.

Maliza aka monique.
E Mummy.
E studious one.
E one who i can depend on to copy notes. hee.
E one who taught me all about M.H.C n no, dats not a makeup brand.

Nadiah aka crystal.
E youngest of all.
E frowner. Damn, u keep makin me frown jus by frownin.
E one who keeps kissin wif me.
E one wif the untouchable hair. Er. Jus kiddin.

NadiahBegum.
E oh-so-pretty-kinda-bimbotic one. Hehe. U know i'm a bimbo too.
E one who i started my crooked journey wif.
E one who found the right path n i'm so happy for her.
E one who dreams abt havin tea wif me when we're wrinkly n old. Yay!

I cant describe how thankful i am for having them in my life. They have been there every step in my life no matter wad shit i've done and to laugh at my jokes no matter how lame it is. They love me for who i am, no matter how bitchy or how irritating. There's no more word to describe how much they mean to me.
All i know is dat i love them. Freakin a lot.

Without them, i'm nothing. Nothing at all.

&the beauty.

11:07 PM

feel like long time neva updated, i guess i was jus too plain lazy.
well, there's so much things to say but again, i'm too lazy to say all dat.
freak. My fingers cant type anything more. haha. wad da shit.

fuckerneneh.

Shaf.is.a.lazy.bum.

&the beauty.

8:10 PM

Could be your eyes
Could be your smile
Could be the way u freed my mind
Your precious touch caress my soul
u give me everythin i need
n now i'm lost, lost forever.

Could be the lies
Could be my pride
Could be the days n nights so wild
Could be the times i wasnt there
And all the nights we didnt share
n now i'm lost, lost forever.

So jus give me one more try for e sake of our love
Jus give me one more chance coz i cant give u up
i cant live one more day without u in my arms
i can never find another like u.

&the beauty.

10:10 PM

i dunno wad i did wrong.
i dunno wad i said wrong.
it seems dat i keep doin e wrong things.
i should jus glue my mouth together
or tie my hands n legs to e bed,
so i wont be able to do any more harm.

i really didnt mean it.

&the beauty.

12:33 PM

They can say anything they want to say.
Try to bring me down
But i will not allow,
anyone to succeed,
hanging clouds over me.

And they can try hard,
to make me feel dat i dont matter at all
but i will not falter in
wad i believe or
lose faith in my dreams.

&the beauty.

8:40 PM

"I heard dat u were talkin shit
And you didnt think dat i would hear it
People hear u talkin like , gettin everybody fired up
So i'm ready to attack, gonna lead e pack
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take u out.
dis is my shit."

Some ppl jus wont stop talkin abt all e shit i've done.
U know who u are, asshole.
So jus fuck off, coz i wont let u bring me down.

&the beauty.

6:37 PM

I'm so freakin bored..
Coz i dun have a job n neither am i skoolin.
Jus keep havin dis stupid hols.
Gonna make me bore buncit.

Few days of lazin ard at home makes me reflect back on my life.
i seem to be messin up my life even more
no matter how much i try to correct myself.
i guess i need to do some soul searchin.

fuckerneneh.

&the beauty.

10:31 PM

i've messed up. Big time. Gonna go away for awhile.
Dun bother lookin for me.

&the beauty.

5:30 PM

i kinda thought that i be better off by myself
I've never been so wrong before
You made it impossible for me to ever
love somebody else
And now i dont know what i left u for.

I'm spoiled
by your love, boy
No matter how i try to change my mind
Whats e point its jus a waste of time
I'm spoiled
by your touch, boy
The love you give is jus too hard to fight
dont want to live without you in my life.

And i would only be foolin myself if i tried to
believe there's room for someone else in my heart
There aint no way i'm gettin over you
i dont know what i've been tryin to prove
i'm hopeless, helpless when it comes to you.

&the beauty.

8:00 PM

such a busy day today. haha.. had a tight schedule. At first, follow nad to hard's exhibition at skool. Nad, u seriously owe me one. Nah, u owe me lots.
Den went to meet fifi sky.
after dat, went to meet my darlin to follow me buy mother's day prezzie.
now, i'm even more freakin broke.

She told me dat its really over. dat its really fuckin over.
i didnt know wad else to say.
i still kept e ring hopin u'll stay but
it feels like almost impossible dat u're gonna be mine again.
i'm feelin all mixed up.

i feel like my whole body is full of freakin emotions.
i'm sad, happy, miserable, turn on all at e same time.
i guess diff ppl make me feel differently.
Wad da fark?!

&the beauty.

10:05 PM

hmm. am i such a bitch or wad.
do i keep playin wif ppl's feelings?
but all i know is dat in my heart,
will always be edd.

ppl all around me keep pressurizin me.
i jus hope they fuckin stop it.
jus keep pissin me off.
irritatin bugger.

&the beauty.

4:12 PM

You can buy me diamonds
And buy me pearls
Take me on a cruise around e world
A dozen roses coz i'm ur girl
u know i'm worth it..

Dinner lit by candles under e sun
Run my bubble bath coz i'm e one
You wanna love so tenderly
u know i'm worth it..

&the beauty.

4:07 PM

oh freak. i'm so broke.
now only e start of the month n i'm like dis.
thot of findin a job durin e 1 mth hols but
damn, i couldnt find one.
can someone sponsor me? hehe. Get real Shaf.

Cant wait for my attachment to end dis week.
den can start slack, sleep n lepak.
all dat doesnt need money.

juztyn, dun forget u're suppose to date me out.

&the beauty.