you're a mystery yourself

Sunday, October 30, 2005

12:12 AM

I got panicky today.

I was running thru and fro like a mad woman trying to either get a cab or reach PS within 5 mins time coz my dad was waiting for me. In e end, i managed to solve it. Even tho i have to face consequences later on. And i had to thank deedee, coz she was there running beside me and i appreciate it dear.

Our lives are full of "If only". If only i were smarter. If only i were better. If only i were 5 mins earlier. If only i didnt lie. If only i didnt make you angry. If only etc. Hope you get what i'm trying to say. But i've learnt that there's no If only in my life, i'm contented with just the way my life is, with or without shits in it. Coz i've learnt from my mistakes. I'm sorry i made you do something which you swore you wont do it anymore. Frankly speaking, my heart was so disappointed that i thought i would collapse from sheer agony. I thought my life would just crumble at the spot, the moment your hand came into contact with my face. But i didnt mean it when i say i hate you. And i do love you. I love you for who you are, for the person you made me become. I love you like hell bugger.

"Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you have to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, its better this way."

&the beauty.

Shaf. 31july.

I love the smell of rain and the feel of green grass

Nad
jaycee
fieza
Farah
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