you're a mystery yourself

Thursday, December 01, 2005

4:55 PM

It always happens this way. Whenever i feel like blogging, i wouldnt know what to blog about. But when i'm bored, sentences are easily formed inside my head and my fingers will be typing away at the keyboard trying to keep up. For example like now.

I'm sure you are wondering why the heck i'm so free to blog since usually i will be either too tired or too lazy but hey, today's your lucky day since i didnt go to work which makes me free to fill up these empty spaces with words. I woke up late. To be exact I woke up at 7am when i should be at work at 7am. Imagine my bewildered face when i woke up to find sunlight streaming in my window. Sunlight streaming in my window - that is a no no. It means i'm too late to go work. So i ended up taking mc and just sleeping at home but i have to make up on Sat, that is the price i have to pay. I so cant wait for december to come. It means making money, having fun and getting drunk. Two more days till the end of a month long attachment.

Anger.

That word is so full of evil. Have you been so angry that you feel as though you would burst? Have you been so angry that you feel like killing the person who made you angry? Have you been so angry that you say stuff that hurts other people? Have you been so angry that you vented your anger on other people? I might have done that, i dont know. Sometimes people get carried away with their emotions and when they do get carried away, things will happen. Bad things. Things which will make you regret. People make you angry, make you feel so frustrated and your blood boils, but so what? Does that give you the right to physically violate them? Does that means you can bring them down and make them feel like shit? Yes you might say that they deserve it but i've always believed not to stoop as low as them. Believe in karma.

I've read somewhere that the instinctive way to express anger is to respond aggressively, that it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviours. Yet we cant physically lash out at every person who irritates or annoys us. "People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything and making cynical comments haven't learn how to constructively express their anger. Not suprisingly, they are not likely to have successful relationships." I do not wish for you to suppress your anger but on the other hand, i do not condone ur behaviour. I dont wish for you to turn out like that. I guess I do have a part to play in making you so angry sometimes. But we have to change. You know that.

I want to help you the best way i could. Coz i care for you and i love you. You have to let me help you. I know together we can control it. This post is not meant for you to get angry at me, i'm not mocking you or trying to get back at you.

I just want to make my feelings known.

&the beauty.

Shaf. 31july.

I love the smell of rain and the feel of green grass

Nad
jaycee
fieza
Farah
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