you're a mystery yourself

Friday, December 30, 2005

9:56 PM

My mom's weird. End of topic.

She has this knack in msging me [at the moment that I was doing smtg wrong, illegal or just plain stupid], about how I'm suppose to be changing for the better and become a role model to my siblings. That is just too freaky.This past week, almost every day, she'll wake me up in the morning by lecturing while I doze in and out of sleep. The previous day was about smoking, the day before yesterday was about lesbianism and there were times when the topic was about how my room is so smelly and stuffy or how i'm looking like a skeleton due to lack of sleep. And today's topic was about the year 2006. About how i'm suppose to change for the better etc. And again I tuned it all out. But then again... it made me think.

I've always been someone in the background. I wasnt interested in anything much. I didnt bother to busy myself with extracurricular activities because to me, it was just something that I didnt wish to indulge myself in. Actually I'm just having problems commiting myself to doing things. I had too much free time on my hands. And now when I think back, i realise that I didnt achieve anything worth mentioning about. For eg. My brother was a prefect, a student leader, a representative of his school not to mention the leader of his boy scouts. I had achieved totally zero, zilch, nada. And that making me depress. Not really. Kinda. A bit. Actually, a whole lot.

So I made another resolution. And that is by the end of 2006, I would like to achieve something that will make everyone Ooh and ahh, that will make me feel proud of myself and for once, I wont be in the background. I want to find something that I feel passion for.

And that something, when I find it, I'll tell you guys.

As for now, I'm just commited to her.

&the beauty.

Shaf. 31july.

I love the smell of rain and the feel of green grass

Nad
jaycee
fieza
Farah
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