you're a mystery yourself

Saturday, April 29, 2006

9:29 PM

my life now consist of work, lounging at home and nothingness. i am bored to death by all this emptiness, nothingness and loneliness. i have absolutely no direction in life. No passion, no hobby, just plain old nothing. And if i'm not careful, i might just get sweeped away by depression just like my patients.

its not easy for me to voice all this out and i guess i am in sort of denial. But honest fark, i feel so lonely. there's nothing waiting for me at home and there's nothing waiting for me out there. Its just same old routine every single day and i'm sick of it. i hate this monotonous feeling and i just wished someone could snap me out of it. i'm so scared that one day i might just break down. why do everyone seems happy and i'm not? i tried distracting myself but there's a limit to reading books right. other than that i have no way of occupying time. i even wished that they had not invented weekends so i'll just be stuck on attachment and that's all matters. Instead of trying to kid myself that weekend will be great, i could just drown my sorrows in work.

i would love to spent time with my loved ones. i would love to be joking around and laughing with them. going to the movies or just plain going out will do. i'm not expecting much. i would like you to spend a little bit more time with me. is that very selfish of me? maybe i am. But i need it. I need to reassure myself that i'm not alone.

i hate everything.

&the beauty.

Shaf. 31july.

I love the smell of rain and the feel of green grass

Nad
jaycee
fieza
Farah
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