you're a mystery yourself

Thursday, May 25, 2006

2:07 PM

i hate insecurities. they changed me to a whole new person. They made me feel psychotic, wanting to do something drastic towards the person who caused me such grievance. I hate you too, for lying to me till i myself not sure what is the truth and what are the lies. I hate you for making me feel insecured, like i'm not worthy to be with you. I hate you for making me feel like your stable back up plan. The plan that you run to at the last resort. I tried to be there when you needed me, i tried to offer help when you needed it and yet it wasnt enough. You messaged everyone except for me. You called everyone except for me. Think for yourself, who was the first person you run to when you're happy, or sad or angry? i doubt it was me. This whole thing has really changed me to be someone bitter. I'm not even allowed to talk this out with you, that's why i'm venting it all here. I know no one's perfect, that people made mistakes. that they ought to be given second chances. I really do know that but sometimes, it hurts so bad.
Sometimes i wished you would just reassure me, that i am the only one that you love, that you still need me, that i bring sunshine into your life. But nothing came out from your mouth.

Like they say, time heals all wounds. Maybe in 5 years to come, i'll look back and laugh at how psychotic i am. As for now, let me be the way i am.

&the beauty.

Shaf. 31july.

I love the smell of rain and the feel of green grass

Nad
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