you're a mystery yourself

Saturday, May 05, 2007

10:17 AM

its finished. the whole shebang. the prcp, the poly life, the numerous attachments. Its really over.

And now when i looked back, i'm proud of myself for managing to make it work during this last mindblowing attachment. Hah. The countless times that i had wanted to take mc but couldnt really bring myself to do it. And i did my work. I tried my best not to shirk my responsibilities, to go off smoking in the staff toilet or to take extra hours of break or to go skiving. It just wasnt possible anymore. And during my last day, i got sentimental thinking of having to leave a ward that i had grew to love no matter how political it was. The jokes. the funny moments. the ohmygod-dis-is-f**king-irritating moments. the staff there. hey, i even got chummy with the cleaners okay. they would clean my beds extra clean. =]

and when i was leaving out of the ward, imma turn back to me and said something. which i would never forget.

she said. "6 weeks without mc. i am so proud of u."

me too.

But one thing saddens me and its the fact that nad's not there to go through this with me. We had plans. Plans of us doing night shift together and that prcp would be a much better place to work at when we have each other. And that we would graduate together. We would go overseas together.

remember this?

in 20 years to come, we fantasized that nad will be the nurse manager and i will be the nurse clinician. We will be sisters of the ward and it will be great. In our office, we planned to have a tiny fridge to keep our drinks and such. We will have multiple piercings and blonde hair yet no one dare to stop us since we are damn good in our work. Students will be crowding around us and they could smell our cigarette smells. Well, we'll just keep on popping mentos into our mouth. We'll pick on anybody who we dont like. Hah, and we can for long hours of break if we want to. Unless we have a meeting with the Director of Nursing, yan yan. We'll even ask Brother Afiq to join us for ciggie time under the void deck. Just imagine brother and sisters smoking under the void deck or carpark for that matter, it just cracks us up every single time. Night duty, we will take out the bourbon bottle and pour us drinks and talk crap in the middle of the night. And then we will think back and reflect on our student days.

But she was not there.

and i miss those days. miss her.

But she's still not here.

&the beauty.

Shaf. 31july.

I love the smell of rain and the feel of green grass

Nad
jaycee
fieza
Farah
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