you're a mystery yourself
THE watches that i've always wanted.
Our sets of foot.
Yay. My prayers have been answered. I've finally got the watch that I've wanted. So thank you baby for making my day.
You know rite i love the watch more than you. heh.
&the beauty.
Anyhoos. Prcp has been great so far with all the staff and fellow prcp-ians. I have not taken an mc so far and believe or not, its just 5 more days to the end of whole poly life. Amazingly i have adapt very well to my surroundings and people who i have never been to attachment with. And i have this habit of doing my work in the ward with a little bouncy step and the snapping of fingers as though i'm doing a jiggly dance. Because to me, that little thing makes my work feels oh so much lighter and i felt less stressful and happier. which is weird.
ok da. byes.
famous last words: Love someone who loves you.
How cliche is that.
&the beauty.
Sometimes things just doesnt go your way. And you can't do any single shiet about it. When that time comes, you can't stomp around and throw a bloody tantrum. It just doesnt work that way. And even if you get hurt in the process and you feel so tired, you can't just walk off and go.
So what you have to do is to stick it out, pray that it will get better and do things that cheer you up instead.
&the beauty.
Kelam malam sepi melamar kerinduan
Tak terpadam ingatanku terhadapmu
Dan pada siapa harus ku adukan
Resah ini kian menghimpit perasaan
Dan seandainya kasihmu mekar bagai dulu
Pasti tidak aku terbelenggu begini
Bukan salah aku retak semua ini
Berpunca darimu bertikam lidah
Lalu punah
Tak dapat ku bayangkan
Tuturmu bagai sembilu
Mencakar hati ini
Tanpa simpati di hati
Ingin rasanya
Ku laungkan rasa kecewa
Kekasih lupakan sejarah
Cinta kita baja dulu
Di manakah kau campakkan
Cintaku yang pernah kau sanjungi
Oh mengapa
Semua ini berlaku
Sedangkan aku sedikit pun tak pernah curang
Terhadapmu
-sembilu
&the beauty.
its a mixed world.
and i'm torn between friends and lover. And i dont know who i should trust. Both have different stories. this is seriously testing my loyalties. Even though my friend have absolutely no reason to hurt my feelings or lie to me. And he just kept on denying.
and there's no way of finding out the truth. So i'm taking a risk here. And the most shameful thought was that even if he did lie, i would still forgive him and be with him.
&the beauty.
lies. lies. lies. lies. lies. lies.
i hate lies. i used to lie as much as i change my undies last time but i didnt want to anymore. Lets just say that i'm a changed person.
And i hate it, when i trusted that someone so much yet in e end, he really lied to me behind my back. I thought we were over that phase, that phase of lying to each other and hiding things. I thought we had wanted to settle down, to consider engagement and even marriage. And what i thought was wrong. I was utterly wrong. Shamelessly wrong. And now i feel out of place. I dont know what else to do.
i would sacrifice anything for you. I know how much you wouldnt want me to go out with anyone else except for you and i didnt. You didnt want me to do things that you dont want me to. So i didnt. I listened to you and you gave me a wonderful painting of our future. And i trusted you. With all my heart. I didnt doubt you. even for a sec. Until I know it for a fact. When you went out gallivanting with your friends, i couldnt sleep, i waited for you to go home. And i forgave you. I keep on forgiving you over and over again yet i feel as though you took it for granted, you keep on stepping all over me.
And yet i still thought of forever. And like i said, my thinking was wrong.
damn you.
&the beauty.
Broken promises
But you don't really mind
It's not the first time
And you know it,
don't you know
Tell me why it is you only smile inside
But when you break me into nothing
Don't you know
It's not like I haven't tried
Over and over again
Stupid fights
Wrong or right
i love this song.
&the beauty.
i went home in such a bad mood. after getting seriously pissed off by people who can't make up their minds in which direction that they want their cars to move in. and when i reach my bedroom, my sanctuary, i could barely restrain myself from getting into the bed and just zonking out. and i got even more frustrated when i only found my specs but no contact lens solution. so without the solution, i couldnt keep the contact lens that i'm wearing therefore i can't wear specs which means no sleeping. get the equation?
thats when he came in. my little brother of four years old.
me: did u see my solution bottle? that big bottle?
him: water bottle?
me: no, no. the big bottle. [gesturing my hands wildly]
him: ohh. [his ohh is always long] the one u keep there. [pointing at the window]
me: yes. you know where?
him: oh kakak, i thought you dont want so i throw it out of the window.
and my god, people. he really did throw.
we live at the 11th floor btw.
p.s: its a real true story posted just for my own indulgence.
&the beauty.
Sleep seems hard to come by for me nowadays since i'm so busy with attachment, pracs, outing. So when i do get my much needed sleep, i cherished it so much that i absolutely flew into a rage whenever people disturb me sleeping. Let's just say that you've been warned.
random things that i love.
sleeping. cuddling up with my favourite bolster and reading a good book. chocolates. mocha frappucino with whipped cream on top. laughing. making lame jokes. orgasms. muhd syakir.
ok byes.
&the beauty.
night shift is over. and it was a real eye opener except for the fact that i couldnt really manage to open my eyes due to lack of sleep. and now i still cant sleep, thanks to the strong brew of coffee that i found on the table in the staff pantry. Hell yeah, i helped myself to it.
i've managed to done well for myself so far. i'm proud to say i've almost completed my whole of 3 years in poly. All those semesters stressing myself out, actually not really ah. But still i'm now able to heave a big sigh of relief now that i know its finally over.
and so it is. three weeks and two days left to go. =]
&the beauty.
Morning world.
i'm awake so early in the morning, on a much awaited public holiday ever. I've been waiting for this day since last week. and i'm so satisfied knowing that i have a few days off before i start my third week of attachment. I'm actually itching to go out and the bf has already given me the green light, but being the pathetic me, i have absolutely no plans. Zilch at all.
and so ppl, ask me out la. sigh.
&the beauty.
i am definitely proud of myself.
The last attachment.
1. So far, i've never been late for work. Yet.
2. I have NOT been skiving work. By slumbering in the toilet.
3. I have NOT succumbed to the temptation of taking an mc. Maybe its because no one will be able to make up with me on a saturday. nad!
4. I actually very the willing to take up on extra responsibilities. Quite unlike me.
5. And i have NOT cabut work early. Dang.
But then, its only the second week.
p.s: work is taking too much of our time syg. i really miss you. =]
&the beauty.
