you're a mystery yourself

Friday, June 27, 2008

2:23 PM

We were as one
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart
Our love will never die, no!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause you know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

-always be my baby.

&the beauty.

1:29 AM

Betrayal. That is one hell of a word.

i made mistakes. But this is one damn mistake that i truly shouldn't make. And yet i did. And so it ruin everything. I've lost everything. And it just sickens me.

It actually hurts so much. Felt like somebody tore out my heart and stomped all over it. What the hell happened to me. I've just lost someone who I promised to share my whole life with. SHare every single thing. ANd it went horribly wrong. i could never get it back.

and the worst part is, that i can't stop crying. Cause 2 years just went down the drain just like that. It wasn't easy to achieve that 2 years. All those memories. No matter how stupid, shitty or sweet. It all comes to mind.

i have never felt this way before and it sucks. and hurts.

too many tears. too many heartbreaks.

i don't want it all.

&the beauty.

3:21 AM

i need to start saving money. Its actually quite depressing to be broke a few days after you get your pay. i seriously need help in financial matters.

Can someone please help me to be more discipline with money.

Dear wolverine,

i miss you. i kept comparing you to cyclops and that is damn bad. i wish that you're here. At least, you can make me laugh with your silliness and facial hair. =]

yours, jean grey.

&the beauty.

3:13 AM

my list:

contact lenses
mango lumberjack shirt
the glittery GUESS watch
Black skinny pants
Lingerie
super high heels
That slinky black dress

&the beauty.

9:25 AM

i love wolverine.

The fact is, hairy people just turns me on. Hah.

Jogging was so tak menjadi. I am such the procrastinator. I should really start living healthily.

ok bye.

my feet smells.

&the beauty.

2:37 AM

I am sick and tired of working. Like seriously. Everyday is the same old shiet all over again. And sometimes it just gets bored. And i'm trying to be patiently waiting for my bond to be finished so I can be free. =] Just the thought of it makes me smile.

But of course, i would also like to upgrade myself. Someone told me that i should pursue a degree, and he diligently checked out for me which university i should enrol in, whats the cost etc etc. Such a sweetheart. And it made me feel motivated. Like i should do something about it. And i will. Just that i'm in such a poor financial state. But i do have plans. Great ambitious plans. hah.

I've been meeting nad so much, almost every other day. And it feels good, cause we bitch, talked about our problems, then we smoke like nobodys business. It just feels so great, not having anyone to nag you or keep calling you just to remind you that you should be back at a certain time. Nad, lets meet again real soon.

On the other hand,

The thing with the bf is not going that well. Not going well at all. Two years r/s is quite a long time and it is definitely a waste to just let it all go. I'm trying my best to make and effort to work things out but it seems like its going down the drain. I hate to give it up just like that. But sometimes if you love someone, you just have to let him go. Bullshit right.

And times like this, i wished i could have brokeback mountain. [inside joke] Its just the way he makes me feel. All warm and fuzzy inside. He makes me feel so special as though i'm the only woman left on earth. He always made me laugh so hard, even his silly antics seem so funny. ANd i just cant help but wonder...

On a brighter note, someone promised to go jogging with me this coming morning. =]

p.s: all this random thoughts have no link whatsoever. coz i'm sleepy and i hate work.

&the beauty.