you're a mystery yourself

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

1:29 AM

I'm having my night shift again, but this time around, my nights have been quite enjoyable. With helmi and farah, they seriously crack me up sia. Stupid jokes and scary stories. They managed to make me choke on my food, which is damn irritating larh. hah.

Actually, the main reason that i logged in was to blog about something important. But then now, i just can't remember what is it.

my mind's too befuddled.

tomorrow's the date with the boyfriend. =D

okay, this post is too stupid and random.

&the beauty.

11:46 PM

i've bought new pillows for me and my grandmama, to replace those pillows that are sagging and limpy. And now, i've ended up with too many pillows that i goy frustrated sometimes, cause i'm not able to toss and turn in my sleep.

i'm being suffocated by pillows la.

aiyo.

&the beauty.

4:34 PM

Marriage is one super duper major big step.

Whoever that wants to get married, i sure as hell hope that they know what they're getting into. As a little girl, i used to fantasize about how my wedding will be like. Mostly I was thinking about the wedding dress etc, whoever the groom might be doesn't even cross my mind. i know. Silly me.

In this modern generation, divorce are abundance. Where people have no morals, thus having affairs and such. Where people don't give a hoot about commitment and loyalty. I dislike those people who went into a marriage, and yet when the littlest trouble rock their boat, they quickly thought of a divorce. I think its crap.

And no, i'm not implying that i'll be having the type of marriage that won't falls apart. [even if i do get married.] I wouldn't know what God has in store for me. I'm unable to predict the future.

But I know for sure that if i do get married, i'll try my damnest hardest to make it work, even if it kills me. And even if that doesn't work, i know that i've tried my hardest. And when it comes to the end, i won't be childishly blaming other people, being rude to elders. I would smile a little, accept reality, and hoped that the parting will be a bittersweet memory in years to come.

cause that's how it supposed to be.

i've lost my perspective about marriage.

&the beauty.

11:50 PM

i have been sick these past few days, which sucks cause all i do is eat and sleep at home. I know i'm suppose to be recuperating but still i'm gonna die of boredom soon.

That's why i'm making a drastic decision that tomorrow i'm gonna go out and have some fun. Alone. Eventho the boy's gonna be mad cause he's missing out on the fun as he will be working, i don't effing care.

i need fun. i need smoke. i need comfort food.

&the beauty.

3:13 PM

i miss my babyboy so much la.

eventho he irritates me like crazy which then makes me feel like smashing his nose.

sigh~

&the beauty.

11:23 PM

i am in pain. literally.

my hand was assaulted by one of the patients. I swear i felt as though my little finger gonna snap off. i might be exaggerating la but still, it goddamn hurts la. And he totally peeled off my skin ah.

This means war.

For punishment, i shall not give him milo.

&the beauty.

1:51 PM

More than a decade of friendship has passed. And yet, we're still going on strong. We might be busy with our own stuffs, but you and i know that we'll be there for each other.

No matter what.

&the beauty.

6:20 PM

Me and the boy were having our dinner when i brought up the topic of a much dreaded affair. And all he did was to keep quiet. Then came upon a time when i actually asked him a question, and his answer was so honest and blunt and shockingly devastating, that i could feel the back of my eyes pricking with tears. I swear! Goodness me. I am blardy sensitive but i ought to be.

Cause he shouldn't have said what he said. Its like he blurted it out. Sometimes he's just too honest for his own good, a part of me actually wishes that he could pretend or lie or whatever. Goddamn arse.

These kind of things makes me rethink our whole relationship. Sometimes, i'm so sure, sometimes i have my doubts. We've been too long together. I guess i just wouldnt want to start all over again. Like someone previously told me, i've been too long in my comfort zone that i wouldn't dare to venture out. But then i know for sure that i love him.. its just that sometimes things doesn't go according to plan and that effing sucks.

i wished he would have a more definite plan for us.
i wished i know what he's really thinking.
For now, i'm the only enthusiast between us.

i hate doubts. They kill you.

&the beauty.

11:00 PM

i'm feeling the blues today.

i feel crappy. so even tho i'm sleepy, i don't feel like sleeping at all.

crap. schmrap.

&the beauty.

10:54 PM

drastic problems needs drastic measures.

so i finally made up my mind.

and no one can budge me from it.

&the beauty.

8:50 PM

i know you think that i'm rushing into things, and maybe i am. But its hard to wait for so long, cause i'm scared that i will lose you. i have this thinking that maybe you're just too good to be true, that its all a dream.

so that sucks.

&the beauty.

8:12 PM

new year party madness. =]

Me and the boy.

All five of us.

partying hard

tryin to act cheeky yet failing.

in the toilet, trust me, toilets are the best to take pics.

the girls.

&the beauty.

10:27 PM

This is way belated people, but still, happy new year. =]

It sucks having to work on new year's eve but then, a job like mine will surely have no regards for public holidays. Me and the boy managed to celebrate it together last minute since he was given the half day off. So we met up with my lovely cousin and her soon to be fiance. Me and my cousin are seriously the black sheeps in the family. unfortunately.

partying. countdown. hyperactive. spaghetti. chicken wings. boogeying. rocking/jamming. shouting. screaming. camwhoring. hugging. smiling. punching.

these are all random things that we do on that night of countdown. interesting huh.

pictures hopefully gonna be up soon.

p.s: i'm not gonna make any resolutions cause i suck at it. bleargh.

&the beauty.